


The necklace

by handlewithkara



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:07:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21642667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handlewithkara/pseuds/handlewithkara
Summary: Winn comes back, but he comes back bearing bad news.
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Kara Danvers, Kara Danvers/Mon-El
Comments: 13
Kudos: 33





	The necklace

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language and I don't have a beta reader.

“Winn!” she calls out and rushes to see him. His face lights up when he sees her and their arms wrap around each other. They hold each other like the long lost friends they are. It’s become so rare. These days she hungers for good news.

She pulls back, out of their embrace and grabs his shoulders. She would shake and twirl him around if she thought that it was what he wanted. Instead, she just beams at him, trying to show him all the joy that she feels upon his return.

“Where have you been?” she blurts out, even though it’s a stupid thing to say. “What’s been going on? What did I miss? You have so much…” She stops because she realizes that he is no longer smiling. His face grows somber and he averts his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Kara.”

She smiles nervously, unwilling to let go of the hope of happy news.

“What do you mean?”

*~*~*

“He wanted you to have this,” he says. “And to tell you thank you. For everything.”

Kara’s heart doesn’t break. It freezes. Maybe he has children now the intellectual part of her brain tries to reason. Or a less permissive wife. Or a new job where he is not allowed to wear jewelry. Allergies. It could totally be allergies. Or just a change of heart.

“How?” she asks, even though she feels she shouldn’t.

“It was a mission,” Winn starts. His words begin to bleed into each other in her hears.

She runs the necklace through her fingers. _Hey, what gives,_ she thinks, what did she expect, it’s just one more thing. Her fist closes around the thin chain, helpless the tiny pendant.

Why get upset. It’s not like it makes a difference.

It’s not like he was still part of her life. Everything is as it was before. Nothing has changed. Nothing at all.

“That’s okay, I guess,” she forces herself to say interrupting Winn.

Kara blinks through unshed tears and looks around, smiling.

“Kara…”

Kara puts her hand on Alex's shoulder. “No, Alex, it is. It really is.”

“I…”

“Really, you don’t have to say anything. I’m okay.”

She turns around and walks away, her smile painful on her face.

 _I’m not sad,_ she tells herself. _I’m not._

*~*~*

“Oh, there you are, I wanted to ask you… “ Nia stops dead in her tracks and narrows her eyes. “You okay?”

“What, oh yes.” Kara balls her hand around her necklace. So fragile. She could crush it down into a tiny marble without even thinking about it.

She closes her eyes.

Nia swallows down a quippy joke and instead lowers her herself down, sitting next to Kara on the floor. “So… “ she says tentatively, “Who was he?”

Kara’s mouth twists into a painful smile, the corner of her mouth curling upwards though her eyes are flush with tears. “Nobody. Just some, some jerk.”

Nia crinkles her nose. “Doesn’t sound like it.”

Kara pulls her knees closer to her chest. Every breath she draws feels like a mountain she has to lift above her head. “He, he was just somebody I used to know. Nobody important.”

She stares ahead blankly, seeing, but not seeing.

“I, I have no right to grieve him. He, he wasn’t mine, you know.” She runs her thumb over her lips, fighting the urge to bite down. She tilts her head and looks weakly at Nia. “He had no right to love me, I had no right to love him.”

_At least not anymore._

Nia is confused. “You don’t need to love somebody to grieve for them.”

Kara smiles sadly.

“I guess not.”

*~*~*

There’s a knock on her door.

Kara pulls the covers tighter and squeezes her eyes shut.

A key turns inside the lock.

_Alex. Of course._

Always the master of stealth, her sister slides into her bedroom. “Kara,” she asks quietly. “You okay?” Her voice is awash with worry.

Kara raises herself up on her elbow. “Yeah, just tired.”

“Can, can I turn on the light?”

She shakes her head and, sitting up, pulls the comforter closer around herself. “Just leave it.” She runs her hand across her face. “I’m just really tired.”

“Kara…”

“I told you, you don’t have to worry. I mean it. I really do.” Her voice sounds a brittle as breaking ice. “It really doesn’t matter. That part of me that cared about him, I killed that a long time ago. It’s gone.”

Alex winces. _Crap._ Shouldn’t have said that. Now Alex is going to be extra worried.

“I mean, I put it to sleep.” _I buried it. Took it behind the shed. Shot it like a dog. Smothered it._ “It’s no longer part of me anymore. Now it’s just… bad news.” Bad news, like any death. Like any life lost.

At least that’s something she can grieve for.

“Kara, I’m worried.”

Kara grits her teeth and there is furor in her voice. “How much longer, Alex? Why, why do the hits just keep on coming?” She laughs and it sounds hysterical, even to her. “Is this going to be my legacy? A dead hero somewhere out there, alone, on an icy rock and a good woman inspired to kill her own brother? Is that was I do now? Come into people’s lives just to make them worse? Turning them from life to death, from light to dark?”

“Kara! You know that isn’t true.”

Kara smiles sarcastically, so hard her cheeks hurt. “Sure feels like it right now.”

“Mon-El made his choice. And so did Lena. It’s not your fault.”

“They made their choice. But they made it because of me.” She gulped. “Just, just like Livewire.”

Alex puts her hands on Kara’s. “You are an inspiration Kara. You are my inspiration. You inspire me every day. And so many others like me.”

“Is that worth it?” Kara whispers. “Is it worth all the times I make people worse?”

“Of course it is.” Alex's arms close around her. “Of course it is.”

**Author's Note:**

> I was being kind of sad and paranoid that they might kill Mon-El off of screen (hah, like that would ever happen since that would force them to acknowledge he actually existed), so I had to work those feelings out in a story.


End file.
